“What are you going to do in 24 hours,” Doubt asked mockingly?
“Maybe someone will come buy your company this afternoon,” Discouragement chimed in.
Not that this is out of the ordinary, but they were really having a good time at my expense. When they get like this, it is hard to recognize them. Normally, they are dark and depressing, but I could tell they were experiencing real joy in my pain.
“You should just give up. I mean what a debacle you have created,” Doubt continued to egg me on.
“You have let your whole family down, what a failure,” Discouragement exclaimed!
“Leave me alone,” I yelled. “That is enough already.”
“Who are you talking to daddy,” my daughter asked?
I hadn’t noticed her come into the room again. She is dressed in her school outfit and the inquisitive look on her face is proof enough that she doesn’t see my companions.
“Daddy, I don’t know what is wrong, but I’m sure that it will be okay. I prayed for you and mommy while I was changing for school. I prayed that you would have a good day and that you and mommy would be happy and stop fighting.”
“Oh sweetie, I didn’t see you. You look pretty today.”
“Thank you daddy,” she replied as she ran back down the hallway to find her mother.
I turned back to the center of the room and noticed that Doubt and Discouragement had left as well. It seems that my comments chased them off. Or maybe, it was my daughter’s cheerful disposition that sent them packing. Either way, I am glad to have a moment without them.
Again, my daughter is praying for me and encouraging me. What I wouldn’t give to have the outlook of a child back. You know the type of outlook that is carefree, joyous, and playful. There is something about the way that she says with confidence that everything will be fine. Even before she started going to the church school that she now attends, she has commented about her prayers. It is like she has some special knowledge.
Leigh has always modeled prayer to our children at dinner and bedtime, but our daughter seems to take on the cause all day long. Leigh thought that it would be a good idea to pray with our children to teach them about God and to show them that we believe in Him. I wouldn’t describe myself as indifferent to this example, but it has been quite a while since I have been impressed that God has heard my pleas. Leigh has chastised me for expressing this opinion, especially the day I shared it with our priest. He said that perhaps my inability to understand God’s answers to my prayers was a reflection of my lack of faith. This reaction sort of chapped me a little. I mean, who is he to judge my faith? I believe in God, I just don’t feel that He hears me. If He does hear me, why are things such a mess? And besides, his opinion of my faith seems a little less than sincere ever since he wouldn’t return my phone calls during Callie.