Traffic cops are some seriously bad mamma jammas. Standing right square in the middle of the intersection using only their hand as their primary signal to direct all the passers by. And, these are no wimpy passers by either. These passers by have places to go, people to see, money to make. These passers by are the most important people on the road and they deserve to go first. Don’t believe? Just ask them.

When we were kids out on crosswalk patrol, we tried our hand at directing traffic. You might think that orange reflective wear presenting at school zone speeds would be a safe place for learning. Well, we did learn a lot…but safe? Not so much…

We learned road rage hand signals. We learned new curse words. We learned stop signs and speed limits and flashing lights and flare guns are only deterrents if the driver chooses to follow them. We learned that whatever bumper sticker the driver may be sporting, they may not always be the best representative of their particular cause.

Like for example, the stone sober MADD mother that took out all of our plastic cones and sprayed them fifty yards in all directions pelting the kindergartens that we were hand holding to the curb. Somewhat expecting an apology when she came to a stop against the side of our guard shack, she hopped out MADD screaming that it was our fault that her child was going to be late. Needless to say (but we will), that was a pretty black day for us green badgers.

Today, we’re grateful for that back when chance at trying our hand directing traffic. It taught us well that we’re probably cut out for a less directive role. It taught us to be more open to going with flow.

MADD props going out to those brave souls still manning the post.